Do you know that feeling, when you've admired someone for a while, and then something happens that makes you realize that they're not what you thought they were?  I had that happen to me recently.  I will never again be able to look that person in the face without remembering that moment of realization.   I'm not angry with them; we all sin.  But it very nearly broke my heart to know that someone I looked up to is exactly like every other sinner in the world.  Everybody does this, you know?  We all have at least one person that we 'pedestal', so to speak, and create an idol out of.  For many, it's a parent, a sibling, a crush, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a teacher, a pastor.  Someone that we look up to as a role model, as perfect, as worthy of the unspotted love and affection we give them.  But, no one is perfect, so we are all fated to have that dreadful moment of discovery, of disappointment, of disillusionment.  It hurts like hell to go through, but we all will at some point (probably multiple ones) in our lives.  It helps to have someone you trust to take into confidence, to offer a shoulder to cry on, or to buy you ice cream and tell you everything will be alright.
     I know these things were sent to make me stronger, so I have a thought: If we all have at least one someone that we look up to, then what are the odds of each of us being that someone, for someone else?  Quite high, in my opinion.  So what if we all took that into consideration every time we get into a compromising situation.  If thinking of your mother being there doesn't phase you, think about the fact that there is probably someone watching to whom you mean the world, and who desperately wants you to make the right choice.  When you do, they cheer for you silently, and continue to watch and admire you.  When you don't, however, the heartbreak is immense and oppressive.  They may despise you afterwards.  They may mourn for the person they thought existed but is now gone forever.  They may go on with their life pretending like it never happened.  But any way they choose to deal with it, you have lost their full confidence and admiration forever.  Let that be a warning to all of us in situations where we think no one is watching.

1 comment:

  1. Stephie Jo,

    You are full of wisdom, my sweet girl. This has always been the hardest part of being a parent, especially a home educating parent. I have felt as if I have lived under a microscope to my children's inspection of my every word, choice and move that I make. Sometimes I found it stifling but for a long time it kept me in check because I never wanted to let you all down. Though I do feel as though I have not been enough. Yet your words remind me of how much wiser you are than I was at your age.

    I have also held someone on a pedestal whom I should not have. No one, save Christ, should be put there. You are correct about the terrible pain when the idol crumbles over top of you. Anguish of heart unspeakable. Yet He is faithful to not give us more than we can bear.

    Pain comes first as the seed dies and breaks open; then comes unseen growth from our perspective; later comes full growth with blossoms aplenty. I do so hope you enjoy your girlhood as you blossom into the marvel of a rose.

    I love you and believe in you,