Ode to the Awesomeness of Owls

     I wish I was an owl. I really mean it. I’ve always been a night person, and I hate mornings. (Just ask my dad. He gets me up.) I think it would be cool to have wings, to be able to fly. And also, owls have great eyesight. I, sadly, don’t. Which means I have to wear geek glasses when I’m driving. If I was an owl, I wouldn’t have to drive, and my vision would be 20-20 anyway. So I could see small animals from far away in the dark. The only thing is, most owls are bulimic. Meaning they swallow small animals whole, then regurgitate the inedible parts. Which is gross, but at the same time cool. A lot of people think that owl pellets are owl poop, but that’s not true. They’re really owl puke. Not like that’s any better. They are also prone to insomnia, probably because they sleep during the day, and if they’re in a bad spot, the sunlight hurts their sensitive and amazing eyes. I’d still love to be an owl. Plus owls are pretty. They have gorgeous soft feathers and humongous eyes. I’ve always wished for distinctive eyes. Mine are just this nondescript gray-blue-green color. I like to imagine myself as a creamy white owl, with gray feather tips fading to black at the ends of my wings. In summary, my top 10 11 reasons for wishing to be an owl(inpo):

*Owls are night creatures. Night is my favorite time of day. If I can say that without sounding stupid. *Owls can fly. I’ve always wanted to be able to fly.
*Owls have really soft feathers. It’s like wearing a super-light down coat, that’s cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
*Owls have great vision. Theirs is almost as good as an eagle’s, until you factor in the part about being able to see in the dark. Then it’s WAY cooler.
*Owls always know what they had for dinner the night before. If someone I didn’t like asked me, “So, what’d you have for breakfast?” I’d say “Wanna see?”
*Owls are insomniacs. I think I’d like being an insomniac. I love my weirdness.
*Owls get to annoy people and get away with it. “Who, who?”
*Owls also scare people’s pants off on a dark road at night. (See “Who, who?” above.)
*Owls are pretty. Much prettier than I am as a human.
*Owls don’t go to school. They are naturally smart creatures.
*Owls can turn their heads almost 180 degrees. I really wish I could do that. It’d be almost as good as having eyes in the back of my head.