10/5/12

Nothing Else Matters

   Listening to my moody rock music isn't helping my strange and sudden case of depression.  Metallica is great, but it can't cure homesickness.  I don't know why I feel this way.  I just do, okay?  That's how it goes sometimes, isn't it?  You feel things that you know you shouldn't, but the feeling won't go away and there's nothing you can do about it.  It lingers like a bad hangover, heavy like an elephant on your chest.  Sleep cannot alleviate the sense of loss, that inexplicable feeling of being torn in two.  Drugs might make you forget for a little while, alcohol might, partying might, but you will always end up back in the same place.  So I go to the music.  At least then I can know that someone else has also felt this way, and someone was able to put their feelings on paper so that they could be imparted to us without words.  I have found, actually, that music is one of the most effective ways of conveying an emotion without losing it through explanation.  That's why my taste in music is so diverse, but tends to be colored towards the sorrowful or emotionally deep.  I like everything from Mozart to Metallica, from One Republic to Owl City, and Five Finger Death Punch to Fleetwood Mac.  '70's light rock, '80's hair bands,  '90's boy bands, heavy rock and classical, electronic pop and christian contemporary.  It all depends on: a) what I'm feeling at the time, and b) what I'd like to be feeling.  Sometimes I don't care, but mostly my music is mood-based.  Other times, however, the converse is true: my mood can change depending on what I'm listening to.  Classical and Owl City calm me down, while Metallica and 5FDP make me moody.  Fall Out Boy and Journey get me singing along (loudly and off-key), while James Taylor and the Beatles make me happy in a subdued sort of way.  My emotions go all over the place when they can.......  I know this is so random, but I felt that it needed to be said.   Just because I'm insane like that.

1 comment:

  1. I miss you so much. You know I've done research into music. That's why I so wanted you all to listen to certain music during study time. I've stopped listening to music mostly now. Too tired for the condemnation of what I enjoy. I'm glad it comforts you. That blesses me.

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