12/25/11

In My Dreams

I was lying in the hammock in my backyard, when all of a sudden, I wasn’t. I scrambled to my feet and dashed after you, laughing. You turned around and chased me, up and down and around this huge grassy space that I was sure wasn’t my backyard anymore. It could have been anywhere, but for some reason the name Montana comes to mind… You finally caught me (I’m super fast, but I can’t run forever, and apparently you can…) and we rolled over and over in the long grass that kept getting longer. Then we just lay still, breathing hard from all the running. You tapped the end of my nose with your finger, and I giggled. Then you stood up, and pulled me to my feet. “Where are we going?” I asked, but you just put your finger to your lips and shushed me. Then, hand in hand, we tiptoed into a stand of maples that wasn’t there before. They all looked the same, until we got to one that looked different. You reached out and laid your hand against a knot in the wood, and a doorway opened up, with stairs inside. They went up and down, and you led me down. Down, down, down. There were never any lights, but we could always see. Then, you leaned against the wall again, and all of a sudden it was light, and we were outside. There were butterflies everywhere, and birds, and trees of all sorts, and flowers. The smell was fantastic. “Here’s where we were going,” you said, and I believed you. I held out my hand, and a butterfly landed on it, and you laughed. I set it on your head, and we both laughed some more. We had the most wonderful time there, wherever it was, and I wish there was a way to get back. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I woke up. Maybe it was all just a dream.

Dreams are wonderful things. I wish I had more of them. My favorites are the ones that go from being realistic to being preposterous so gently that you can’t tell where reality ends anymore. I wish the line between reality and my dreams was really that fuzzy. Until you get into nightmares. Which shouldn’t be classified as dreams at all. There should be a whole other word for them, one that doesn’t bring to mind the word ‘dreams’. I see rolling hills and waving plains… Tall pine trees and prickly cactus… Hummingbirds and eagles… Oh, the things in my head. I think someone dropped me when I was born. (No offense, Dad!) How else did I get this way? My brain cells are not in their proper places. Like somebody took a blender to them. Not damaged, just mixed up. Oh well. Mom, I’m tired. Why can’t I go to bed? Oh, that’s right. Because I still have homework to do for tomorrow. So tired. Do homework. Tired. Homework. Tired. COFFEE! Hyper! Well, I guess I’ve got that taken care of. It’s so late. I WANNA GO TO BED! Anyhow, none of this is real.

12/18/11

Sky sailing

Oh, Icarus. To be you, for a moment birdlike, soaring through the open air, free as could be. Perhaps that's what got you, in the end. That's how you ended up going too high, although in a technical sense, what happened to you isn't actually possible. What would actually have happened, had you been able to get airborne, is you would have gone too high and either run out of oxygen (the air gets thin, you know) and passed out, thus plummeting to your death, or you would have gotten hypothermia from the cold and died that way. You would never have drowned, anyway. If your wings did melt because you got too close to the sun, then you would have died the second you hit the water, because of the force of your impact, falling from such a height, you know. I feel like such a pessimist right now. If we could all forget our worries and go flying like that, even just once, we might all be willing to let some things go, like anger and frustration. All the anxieties and the tension and the bitterness would melt away at the sight of the beauty that we live in the middle of and never seem to see. God is so good. Let's try to experience flight with our feet on the ground, shall we?

12/15/11

Dreams don't turn to dust

This picnic will soon depart, real life, I'm sad to see you go. I'll miss you with all my heart, but I'd rather be alone...

Rest assured, 'cause dreams don't turn to dust.

What a beautiful song. How can you not be encouraged and uplifted by these words? I happen to love this particular video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qd5n9THM-c

While you're there, this person has some good videos of his (Owl City's) other stuff, so check it out.

12/14/11

Superman by Five for Fighting

I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, more than some pretty face beside a train and it's not easy to be me. I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees, find a way to lie 'bout a home I'll never see. It may sound absurd... but don't be naive, even heroes have the right to bleed. I may be disturbed, but won't you concede--even heroes have the right to dream, and it's not easy to be me. Up up and away... away from me--well it's alright. You can all sleep sound tonight. I'm not crazy, or anything. I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive. Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees. I'm only a man in a silly red sheet, taken for Kryptonite on this one-way street. Only a man in a funny red sheet looking for special things inside of me. Inside of me. I'm only a man in a funny red sheet, I'm only a man lookin' for a dream. I'm only a man in a funny red sheet, and it's not easy... It's not easy to be me.